(META)REPORTS ON (HYPER)PSYCHO(SITUO)GEOGRAPHY
- Written by The New Cross Triangle Psychogeographical Association (NXTPA)
There here follow a series of brief reports from the NXTPA and its allies in the APTXN, SOF and FIASCo. NXTPA is currently enjoying a hiatus in operations, following the successful completion of the second series of its newsletter and phase two of its five-year plan. Operations will resume shortly.
Great Yarmouth Trip:
On the 30th April 8AP, representatives from the APTXN, NXTPA, FIASCo and the LPA Historification Committee convened at the road sign beneath West Ferry Gore (site of the Trivium reclaiming three-sided football match, held as part of the FQFFEF, 8AP). West Ferry Gore—occasionally referred to as West Ferry “Circus”—is a site of some significance. A Gore is the ancient name for a three-sided football pitch, originally to be found at places where three roads met. The name has a long etymology founded in medieval masonic pedagogy: In the schools of the medieval masons there was a distinction between the Trivium and the Quadrivium. The Trivium, which was generally concerned with logic, grammar and rhetoric, was at one time taught through games of three-sided football, with different teams applying different rules according to how they were assigned. This proved so popular that it became hard to persuade people to learn the more serious Quadrivium, which consisted of arithmetic, geometry, music, and astronomy. Three-sided football was thus suppressed and the Trivium was taught in a way that was indistinguishable from the Quadrivium. It is indeed for this reason that Association Football was later formerly codified by the freemasons of London—a diversion to lead the labouring classes away from the true origins of the game, replacing it with a version deriving from the masonic variants passed down through various public schools. It is no coincidence therefore, that this formal codification occurred at the Freemasons Tavern on Great Queen Street (adjacent to the Grand Lodge), on the 26 October 1863.
When famed media theorist Marshall McLuhan wrote The Classical Trivium: The Place of Thomas Nashe in the Learning of His Time as his PhD thesis, he discovered in the course of his research that one of key venues at which these early games of three-sided football were held was West Ferry Gore, on the Isle of Dogs, later immortalised by Thomas Nashe in the play of the same name. The Isle of Dogs, Nashe’s great, lost play was in fact not lost at all, but was actively suppressed, precisely because it reintroduced three-sided football into Elizabethan London. It was published with the intent of sabotaging John Dee’s programme to construct the British Empire on the principles of the Quadrivium, through his magical understanding of Euclid anchored exactly on the Isle of Dogs and the Omphalos he endeavoured to establish there. This could not be tolerated by the British Crown.
This was the reason for the Trivium reclaiming three-sided football match our operatives performed in an abandoned car park deep beneath West Ferry Gore back in March. Previously, on 21st November 8 PC (2015 vulg), Strategic Optimism Football club in conjunction with the Luther Blissett Deptford League, started to exorcise the space-time Imperial anchor at the Isle of Dogs Omphalos: where the Northwest Passage and the “Linea Regium” (or “Royal Ley”) leylines cross. This was only the start. The aforementioned Northwest Passage line also includes the West Ferry Gore as well, further connecting Glasgow and Cimetière du Père-Lachaise, Paris. The exorcism of the Omphalos and later West Ferry Gore was thus part of a wider a time loop: the first known 3SF game, played on 28th May, 1993 in Glasgow connects to Cimetière du Père-Lachaise in Paris through dead quantum lettrist (psychic worker) Isidore Isou (died on 28th July, 2007), so ending the Age of Divinity. The reason for this is obviously that each Three-Sided Football game is the same game - it folds time back on itself, to concentrate our activity in space and class by repeating it in time. It was for this reason, therefore, that we journeyed to the Gore in March, in a further stage of unbinding this line.
During the March game, we attempted an unbinding of the Gore by circling it in a counter-clock-wise rotation (reproductional work or labour). West Ferry Circus is surrounded by the clock-wise rotation traffic filled-up by corporate vehicles, guarded by security forces (destructive workers). Chased away by the security guards, who were eager to prevent our crucial mission, we were however undeterred. Instead we gained clandestine access to the lower levels of the Gore. There, as stated, in an abandoned car park three levels below the surface, we sought to unleash a counter movement, through the playing of thee-sided football. Above, the Gore secretly obtains its extra psychic powers from the binding actions of the supporting rotational traffic. Here the Trivium of the original Gore has been built over by a masonic Octagon, placed within concentric circles, forming the apex of a gigantic sundial, aligned to the shadow cast from the Canary Wharf pyramid on a specific, fateful day of the year.
That game was a qualified success, however, our mission was far from over.Following the clues in Nashe’s surviving work, our operatives were first alerted to the possibility that his famous “lost play” in fact remained intact, and had simply been hidden from the masonic authorities. Furthermore, evidence suggests this fact was known to an old mole in the Tower Hamlets highways department. Following the suppression of his play, and fearing for his life, Nashe fled to Great Yarmouth, on the East Anglian coast, then a wealthy port. Through our psychogeographical investigations, it came to our attention that a particular road sign, situated precisely beneath West Ferry Gore on the Isle of Dogs, indicates that the aforementioned Isle can be accessed via the A1026 (the sign then inexplicably displays a masonic triangle, as if its cryptic message were unclear). However, the Isle of Dogs (the place), can in fact be accessed by the A1206. The A1026, on the otherhand, was formerly a road running through Great Yarmouth (now the B1141 ring road), right past the town’s famed North West Tower, to which Nashe fled! The clues began to fall into place: Firstly, Situationist references to the “Northwest Passage” clearly did not refer to de Quincey after all, but to Nashe’s hidden play. Further, someone in the Tower Hamlets highways department was aware of this and was signalling, via the sign, that The Isle of Dogs (the play), could be found by following the A1026!
With this in mind, we convened at the fateful road sign and set off for the town Nashe called the 'Immanent Metropolis of the Red Fish'. Was this another clue? A red herring perhaps? We have yet to determine what further permutations our adventures set in motion, although sadly it seems we were unable locate the whereabouts of Nashe's “lost play” - this time. This, despite extensive inquiries behind the bar at the local pub The White Swan. But then again, if we did find it, perhaps we wouldn't be able to speak openly about it here, for fear of meeting with similar repression from the geometic forces ranged against us.
We did, however, discover a mysterious mural in an underpass in Great Yarmouth, depicting a three-sided football pitch in the exact style of that constructed at West Ferry Gore. The mural was consequently détourned to make the providence of this illustration more readily apparent. Further, we subsequently set about playing an extensive game of triolectical football in the shadow of the North West Tower, until all the balls ended up in the river. We then enjoyed a few ales, a ramble on the beach and dreamtime on the train home. The adventure continues.
Luther Blissett Deptford Three-Sided Football League 8AP Season League Tables:
Three-Sided Football Takes On Quantum Physics:
On the 26th July 8 AP, two days before the dawning of the Proletarian New Year, the Luther Blissett Deptford League celebrated the occasion by organising a special, one-off exhibition match again a team of quantum physicists. Practitioners of the dark arts of quantum mechanics have become increasingly interested in three-sided football of late, following our successful psychic attack on the Imperial Omphalos last November, and particularly, in the wake of our stretching of the Greenwich Meridian, during the First Quantum Flux Footballum Equinox Fest in March.
This particular game saw the quantum physicists’ team of the New Scientists take on the Anti-Scientists (a veritable Bauhaus of designers) and the Dada Scientists (a lumpen mix) on a balmy summer’s evening in New Cross. The game also occasioned the revival of the famed 30m hex of early LBDL matches, and with teams of eight per side, thus in direct contravention of Dunbar’s Bell-Curve, it certainly made for a lively clash. The game ended in victory for the professionally-drilled Anti-Scientists, for whom extensive strategising and a slick new kit undoubtedly paid off. The motley band of assorted Situlogists and ‘Pataphysicians thrown together at the last minute as the Dada Scientists celebrated their namesake movement’s centenary by coming a respectable second. The quantum physicians of the New Scientists however, clearly still have a lot to learn about quantum chromodynamics, trailing a sorry third after mixing up their tactics and failing to ally with the Dada squad to prevent the Anti-Scientists pulling into an unassailable lead.
A Game of Three-Halves
Following July’s successful clash between a squad of quantum physicians, sponsored by New Scientist, and assorted three-sided veterans, NXTPA operatives managed to slip past security at London’s Excel Centre to catch Oxford anthropologist Professor Robin Dunbar’s lecture on the game at September’s New Scientist Live event. Our operatives had not taken a sudden interest in number mysticism, opiates and mutual masturbation threesomes, or any of the other red herrings Dunbar threw in to distract his befuddled audience. Indeed, we have been interested in such matters for a long time. No, rather, we were keen to hear Dunbar venture that three-sided football offers direct proof of the hypothesis advanced in 'Dunbar's Third Law of Coincidence'. Furthermore, that three-sided variants of the game spontaneously throw up the kind of illusory correlations predicted by the so-called "Dunbar Bell-Curve". In this regard at least, we were not disappointed.
Triolecticising the Goalposts
We are approaching a new model (situation) of class society where – proletarianised along the trimensions of space, time and class – strikers (i.e. destructive workers) are deprived of their power. This is exactly where three-sided football has much to teach.
Recent experiments in complexity vandalism saw moving goalposts (attached to bicyclic “fluxvehicles”) attempt to literally “stretch” the Greenwich Meridian. The aim was to trigger a quantum superpositional timeloop, catalysing a hypothesised collapse in imperialist spacetime.
As the moving goalpost modification demonstrates, even as strikers (destructive workers) are disempowered by global capital’s increasing ability to transcend the hemispheres, there occurs a simultaneous empowerment of both reproductive workers (goalkeepers) and psychic workers (three-sided football players and self-organisers generally). When their autonomy is realised, the goalkeepers (reproductive workers) can take entangled, self-organizational action, whilst the psychic workers, the ones who build up the situation, can facilitate such actions to take place. The moving goalposts (dead workers) thus offer timely (and spacey and classy) advice for further dérive (psychic workers union) transfigurations.
As three-sided football rewards the team who concedes the least, its natural rallying cry is “all power to the reproductive workers!” The contemporary game has begun to insufficiently reflect this however. By triolectically seizing and reconfiguring the goalposts (dead workers) themselves, we instantly facilitate an experimental tripling of reproductive workers’ relative power. We invite you to join in!
When: 3pm, 11th June 2016 [vulg.] (8 AP)
Where: New Cross Stadium (reopened, for one day only), Bridgehouse Meadows, SE15, (51.482131, -0.048773)
Who: This event is kindly supported by Strategic Optimism Football, Achademy of Practical Triolectics and Xenotopian Navigation, D3FC, New Cross Triangle Psychogeographical Association and Federation Internationale Autonome des Situlogistes Contemporaine.